Relationship Problems

October 8, 2021 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

The couples struggle is a common problem

One of the most common enquiries I get is for couples counselling. It would appear that anxiety and relationship problems are affecting so many lives. These are the two problems that tend to show up most in my therapy office. This brief article will highlight some of the common relationship problems couples experience. It will explore the signs that the couples are struggling with their relationship. And it will offer some ideas about how to solve their relationship problems without breaking up.

Signs of relationship problems

There may be some typical signs of when there are difficulties in your relationship. These include:

Communication may be minimal and might be negative.
Differences are criticised rather than appreciating that each partner has a valid view.
Couples may find that they are spending less time together and also having less fun together.
Arguments are frequent, with the same triggers and frustrations recurring without being resolved.
It could be that one partner indicates that they are not happy and that they feel the relationship is in trouble.

Another sign of a problem in the relationship is when the couple is unable to listen to each other, not able to hear the other person’s perspective. This inability to discuss relationship problems often leads to the issues remaining unresolved for many years. The danger is that couples get used to finding other ways to manage their hurt and pain.

Bigger issues

Sometimes these relationship problems mentioned above can lead to more serious difficulties. These might involve affairs and betrayals or even separation and divorce. I call these ways of coping, ‘exits’.

‘Exits’ are ways the partner ‘leaves’ the relationship without working on sorting out the problem with their spouse or partner. ‘Exits’ drain energy from the relationship. And they lead to further and often bigger problems that become even more difficult to resolve.

How to solve relationship problems without breaking up

Unfortunately, the separation and divorce rates are extremely high. Research says that these days over 50% of couples end up divorced or separated.

I normally explain to couples that there is another option rather than separating. That option is to work very hard on building their relationship connection. Like anything, to have success in an area of one’s life, one needs to invest time and effort. So too, our relationships require time, effort and thought for them to be successful.

It can be helpful to take time to focus on what is good about one’s partner. Then taking time to put these appreciations into words, sharing them with your partner. Gratitude and appreciation I believe is an area that can make a huge difference in improving a relationship.

Many couples stop having fun together due to various commitments. It can be helpful to make a weekly time to have fun, doing enjoyable things. Many couples try and have a weekly date night. Making time to listen and share is of course a very important way to begin solving difficulties and problems in the relationship.

An exercise I sometimes suggest to couples is to have daily ‘talking time’ where each partner gets 10 minutes to say whatever is on their head and heart. The other partner just listens without interrupting or disagreeing.

Can others help improve your relationship?

So, in conclusion, it is normal for couples to struggle and have problems arise in their relationship. There are some common signs of relationship difficulties. Fortunately, there are ways to improve the relationship. Sometimes the couple may need some outside help such as couples counselling or relationship coaching.

Who to talk to about relationship problems?

Couples counselling is ideal for addressing relationship issues in a safe space. I try and provide a therapeutic space for the couples I work with to learn how to reconnect with their other half lovingly and compassionately. The couple learns how to talk and listen to each other without any shame, blame or criticism. They also learn how to focus once again on the positive, fun, enjoyable parts of the relationship that first attracted them to their partner.

Most couples leave it far too late to get help for their relationship problems.

Be in touch to discuss the various online and in-person options to get your relationship back on track.

Online couple therapy

May 12, 2020 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

This week is Marriage Week in the UK!

Service your car? Why not service your relationship?

Online couple therapy is that yearly service.

couple holding hands to show what online couple therapy can lead to

Did you even know that there was such a thing as marriage week? I didn’t and found out by accident. I’m super excited to know that there is such a concept. Let me tell you a bit about it as well as opportunities for online couple therapy and coaching.

Marriage Week is an annual celebration of marriage and relationships. The main message of marriage week is a reminder that marriage is necessary and worthwhile investing in. Research shows that stable families make for happier children and grown-ups. Married couples (or partners) who work at their marriage or relationship are more likely to stay together. They also have a better chance of finding ongoing happiness.

Each Marriage Week has a theme. The purpose of this theme is to provide a focus for couples to work on some aspect of their marriage at least once a year. The aim is for couples to invest in their relationship and to keep caring and nurturing it. Marriage week gives a boost to couples. It is an opportunity to reflect and enhance the relationship. Online couple therapy makes it easier than ever to tap into this relationship-enhancing opportunity.

‘The Forever Conversation’.

couple holding scrabble pieces that spell out the word 'forever' which is what online couple therapy can help the couple achieve

This year’s theme is an invitation to reflect on your relationship as it is now. Then to take stock and to ask where the relationship is heading. What might the future look like in your ideal marriage or relationship?

To help with taking stock of the relationship, I offer a comprehensive online assessment. The couple fills this out individually in the comfort of their own home. This then provides a detailed outline of the couple’s areas of strength as well as the areas to work on and grow into.

There are many powerful and easy to use exercises and skills. These will enhance the positive in your relationship. Additionally the powerful insights, knowledge, and tools will provide ways to manage the more challenging parts of the relationship. These may include enhancing communication and working through frustrations in helpful ways.

The relationship vision exercise is a life-changing exercise. It helps the couple to focus on their shared vision for your ideal love relationship.

wedding rings on top of a page in a dictionary with the word 'marriage'. Online couple therapy can lead to a happy marriage

There is no better time than Now!

What better a time to work on your relationship than now! Especially when times may be challenging due to the current coronavirus pandemic.

It would appear that many relationships are struggling. This may be due to the stress of being in lockdown. Or due to being at home with one’s partner and possibly childcare stressors as well.

With many couples stuck at home, this is a wonderful opportunity. A great opportunity to find out more about how easy it is to access online couple therapy. So many couples are spending more time with each other than they normally do. Couples may also be experiencing more stressors than normal. This may be impacting negatively on the relationship.

A healthy marriage is a skill. Couples can learn new skills and gain insights that can turn a good relationship into a great relationship. A great marriage or relationship can be learned, just the same way as someone can learn a new skill or trade.

Your most important investment!

Invest in your relationship for the sake of your marriage. This investment could be the most important undertaking you do for your children. Create a safe space for your relationship. A safe and nurturing space that your relationship can grow in. That same space is where your children will develop. So why not invest in your relationship.

This current time of challenge during the coronavirus is also an opportunity. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to look back at this time as a time of growth in your relationships? To be able to come out of this challenging time with a healthier and more connected relationship with your loved one.

Online couple therapy

I offer couples a thorough online assessment. This provides a detailed view of the relationship. Couples each separately fill out a detailed online questionnaire about their relationship. This feedback provides me with an in-depth analysis of the relationship. From here we have some follow up sessions that focus on highlighting areas of strength that the couple is doing right. We also look to find the areas of growth that will lead to creating as healthy a marriage as possible.

I will provide you with effective knowledge and tools to make this possible.

Help is available by giving you life-changing information, inspiration, and tools. This will give you and your loved ones the best chance of lasting connection and happiness.

Be in touch to find out more. gary@cbttherapymancheser.co.uk or 07931721637

UK National Marriage Week 2020 is 11th – 17th May.

Holistic Health in Manchester can get you in balance

May 4, 2020 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

Are you living a holistic and balanced lifestyle?

Innate Well Being

Pebbles balanced on top of each other as a metaphor for what holistic health in Manchester can offer

I have always dreamed of having a holistic centre. Not sure why but since being a teenager this was something that was part of my vision.

That vision has now become a reality. One thing that holding a vision in mind has taught me, is the power of thoughts and goals. Without too much effort I have now found myself as director of the Prestwich Holistic Centre in Manchester. We are a team of talking and holistic therapists offering various treatments for varying problems. Holistic therapy can help restore balance and realign oneself to one’s inner innate well-being.

My belief is that we come into the world as a whole, healthy happy souls. Over time, life’s ups and downs may cause us to become disconnected to our inner resilient happy selves. The ‘work’ is then about ‘reconnecting’ to our inner source of physical and spiritual well-being.

If you are looking for help with holistic health in Manchester, the UK or abroad then read further!

What is holistic health & wellbeing?

The word ‘holistic’ comes from the word ‘whole’ which means complete. Holistic health is a wellness approach that addresses the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of an individual. This is because we all would like to feel well in all areas of our lives. These areas include physically, mentally, emotionally and to be more fully ourselves. So holistic health intends to treat a person’s body, spirit, emotions, relationships and mind. The focus is on the whole person rather than focus on a specific condition or illness. These various parts of a person work together to bring about homeostatic wellbeing for optimal health.

Holistic treatment doesn’t just slap a plaster on a person’s symptoms. Rather the therapy aims to find the ‘root’ of the problem. The problem is often because of having fallen out of balance in various areas of one’s life.

I have recently had a few clients come along for therapy as they were experiencing sleep difficulties. The temptation is sometimes to go straight to the problem and try and ‘fix’ that. Yet what I am finding more beneficial is to begin focusing on the whole person. It very often becomes clear that important parts of the person’s life have gone out of balance. This results in symptoms such as sleep difficulties, anxiety, low mood and other surface-level problems. It’s a bit like the dashboard of a car that is flashing various lights. These lights are indicators that the car needs a service of some sorts. Holistic therapy is that service.

Man on unicycle as metaphor for how holistic health in Manchester can help restore equilibrium

So healing and wellbeing are promoted through looking at various elements. These may include nutrition, movement, stress management as well as attitudinal and behavioural changes. Relationship and spiritual counselling may also be included if necessary.

Advantages of a holistic approach to your health?

Some benefits include that you will work with professionals who look for the source of your health and emotional issues. This may help to avoid medication if that is your choice. You’ll also learn to live a more balanced lifestyle, with increased self-awareness. Another benefit is that both short and long term you will be proactive in your health, rather than reactive. In the long term, you will also save time, energy, and money by making better-informed health choices now.

Living a holistic lifestyle enables people to gain the most enjoyment from life. You will also establish powerful daily health, emotional, mental and spiritual habits. These habits can be with you for life, keeping you well and healthy on all levels. Healthy living leads to vibrant wellbeing.

What is holistic therapy like at our centre?

picture of calm therapy room at our centre where one can have health health treatment in Manchester

The Prestwich Holistic Centre is home to various professionals. We are passionate about helping you accomplish your individual health and wellness goals. Each of the over 25 dedicated practitioners are able to work together to assist you and your loved ones in achieving optimal health.

We have an array of talking therapists. These include psychologists, counsellors, psychotherapists, hypnotherapists and life coaches. Our holistic practitioners can offer massage, reiki, acupuncture, kinesiology and meditation. We also have nutritionists and personal trainers to address the physical components.

Our aim is to help direct people to the recognition that life and healing come from within. That ultimately the promotion and maintenance of health wellbeing is preferable to the treatment of illness.

We are able to help you examine the five aspects of holistic health. These are the physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and mental parts of your life.

We offer a range of programmes, workshops, classes and webinars. These may be included to enhance your knowledge and skills. This may help improve your ability to care for yourself and your loved ones in a new way.

Holistic health help is available in Manchester at our well-being centre as well as online via skype or zoom.

In the balance of things.

sunset in background and appears to be in perfect alignment with a tree in front. this is a metaphor for balance that can be achieved by working with holistic health in Manchester.

So in summary, holistic health takes a whole-person approach to health and healing. This may include body, mind, and soul as well as environmental aspects of everyday living. A holistic approach reminds a person that the whole is made up of many interdependent parts. When one part is out of balance or neglected, it affects the other parts.

Holistic health puts the majority of wellbeing in the hands of the individual. This is done through education, mindful and informed choices, self-study and coaching or therapy. It is a way of life that is in harmony with nature and the inner needs of a person.

At the Prestwich Holistic Centre here in Manchester, our holistic health practitioners are here to support the individual in a whole-person healthy way of living. These holistic therapy sessions can be in-person sessions at our centre in Prestwich, Manchester. Otherwise are also available by teletherapy or online via Skype, Zoom or Whatsapp video call.

Health and healing take personal choice, observation, and commitment. We will help you to become more aware of your current experience. We will then help you learn what improves your symptoms as well as what makes symptoms worse. You will learn to nourish your whole being.

Learning the basics of holistic health will help you improve your health and wellbeing.

Be in touch to discuss how holistic health in Manchester (or in the UK or abroad) can make a significant improvement to your life.