Your spouse or partner is an iceberg!
This does not mean that they are cold and unfeeling!
Rather it refers to the fact that just as you only see 1/10th of an iceberg above the water, so too when looking at another human being, you only see the surface level.
Just like there is so much more to an iceberg than what you can see with your eye, so too, there is so much depth and more than meets the eye when interacting with others.
Lessons we can apply from an iceberg to our partner:
1. Just like there is so much beneath the surface of what we can see of an iceberg, remember that there is tremendous depth to your partner. They have wonderful qualities, resilience and beauty that is all within them.
2. Try and recognise as much good as possible, which may require seeing ‘beyond’ what you experience on the surface. Perhaps consider looking for this depth in your partner and putting into words what beauty and positive qualities you see hidden beneath the superficiality of daily life.
3. Appreciate that there is so much of your partners ‘world’ that is beneath the surface. They have a history, childhood, pain and hurt from their experiences growing up as children and teenagers. Perhaps be mindful of what a miracle of survival they are, in that they may have endured struggle and suffering that is deserving of compassion and kindness. As a partner, you are in a wonderful position to bring healing to your partner by being a loving presence that is accepting and nurturing of them.
So, these are a few things we can learn from an iceberg and wonderful opportunities to enhance your relationship connection in your significant relationships.
What you see in your relationship is just the tip of the iceberg… There is so much more to your partner than meets the eye.
Everything you are looking for is right there within you
Gary Janit
I offer confidential individual psychotherapy & CBT as well as Imago Relationship Therapy in Manchester.
I am registered and accredited with the following professional organisations, abiding by their ethical codes:
BABCP (British Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Psychotherapies), UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy), HCPC (Health & Care Professions Council) as well being a graduate member of the BPS (British Psychological Society).