Relationship-Enhancing Idea # 3: Closing Exits (don’t leave it too late)

October 19, 2018 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

Relationship-Enhancing Idea # 3: Closing Exits (don’t leave it too late)

Knowing that it is normal to experience hurt, pain & frustrations (the power struggle phase) in relationships, don’t just leave it but seek help early to be able to experience real love again.

Last time we learnt that following the ‘honeymoon phase’ (phase 1) couples will encounter the ‘power struggle’ (phase 2). This is normal and not a sign that anything is wrong. It is an opportunity for growth.

The mistake most couples make is that they do not seek help early enough. Harville Hendrix says that most couples leave it on average seven years too long before finding a good relationship therapist or coach.Continue Reading

Relationship-Enhancing Idea # 2: Frustrations are normal!

October 10, 2018 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

DREAM RELATIONSHIPS

Relationship-Enhancing Idea # 2: Frustrations are normal!

Conflict, frustrations and differences in your relationship are normal! You are in stage two. Stay with them, listen, validate and feel more connected through them.

Following the ‘honeymoon phase’ (phase 1) all couples will encounter the ‘power struggle’ (phase 2). This is normal and not a sign that anything is wrong.

There is no escaping phase two so better to be prepared for it and find a helpful way to manage rather than ‘exiting’ through avoidance, blame, shame, criticism or any other strategy that does not directly and respectfully deal with the frustration.Continue Reading

Relationship-Enhancing Idea # 1: The Power of Appreciation

September 17, 2018 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

DREAM RELATIONSHIPS

Relationship-Enhancing Ideas with Gary Janit

Relationship-Enhancing Idea # 1: The Power of Appreciation.

“In any relationship that matters to you, give praise and appreciation daily. Noticing and appreciating the good in others enhances the connection between you and creates a healthy relationship space”.

Putting your appreciations of your spouse or partner into words can transform your relationship and literally save your marriage or relationship.

Frustrated in your relationship? Arguing more? Feeling let down?

April 16, 2018 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

You are probably in phase two and that is normal!

What happened to my wonderful romantic relationship? What are we not getting on anymore?

There is a reason for why there are more frustrations, hurt and pain in your relationship now…

Relationships typically go through a number of phases. We all know about the ‘honeymoon phase ‘ where everything feels wonderful, as if you have known your partner forever. It feels as if your needs are being met and that this person just gets me fully. During this phase your brain is literally releasing a number of good feel chemicals. It is like being on a high…cloud nine.

Benefits of commitment in your relationship

April 12, 2018 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

Image result for investing in your relationship quotes

“Couples in conscious relationships recognise that the committed partnership is a remarkable structure for healing and growth. As partners excavate the past and learn about one another – their unmet needs and lifelong desires, vulnerabilities, wounds, strengths and resources – they can begin to work cooperatively to bring their unconscious directives into consciousness” (Imago International website).

Commitment is needed from both partners to work as fully on the relationship as possible. Taking full ownership for what I can do to make this relationship healthier and better. How do I need to ‘show up’ for my partner or spouse that will bring out the best in them. How can I bring ‘safety’ to my relationship. Doing my 100% of my 50% towards my relationship.

Pain & Discomfort are an opportunity for growth

April 11, 2018 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

In relationships we may look at conflict, difference and pain as a ‘bad thing’ but actually frustrations and conflict can be an opportunity for growth…see the following quote below.

When couples can see frustrations as an opportunity for growth, the relationship takes a different journey…

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Watch this YouTube video of Abraham Twerski talking about how lobsters grow! And what we can learn from the discomfort that lobsters go through. Keep in mind the frustrations and pain we may feel in our relationships…Continue Reading

A must watch – The Power of Connection

April 11, 2018 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

This will change the way you view life and the way you view your relationships.

Hedy Schleifer is a master Imago couple therapist who beautifully talks about the invisible ‘sacred space’ that exists between couples. If only we could all live according these ideas…honouring each other, respecting difference and living with an open heart.

Sharing Appreciations

November 28, 2017 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

The idea is simple but powerful – take a moment to think of something you appreciate about someone in your life – a partner, spouse, friend, child, teacher, headmaster etc.

This appreciation could be something that drew you to that person originally or perhaps it is something you’ve come to know, love, admire or appreciate about them over the time you have known them. It does not matter whether it is something big or small but just something they do (or something about them as a person) that brings you a good feeling.

Perhaps pause and take a moment to think that appreciation you’d like to share. Then share the appreciation when the moment is ‘right’ and the other person will be able to hear you. Share it with feeling and show a little vulnerability for a bit of spice. Then see what happens!

Putting your appreciations into words

October 6, 2016 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

Appreciations

This quote sums it up! Appreciations can really make a huge difference to others, relationships and oneself. Its the action of verbalising the appreciation that is necessary. Relationship counselling in Manchester can significantly improve your relationship.

Try It! Go on…share something your appreciate about your friend, partner, spouse, neighbour, family member etc.

Remember what it feels like to be appreciated! Of course you do. Feels good. So make someone in your life’s day and put something you appreciate about them into words.Continue Reading

Its Not about The Nail – A lesson in listening!

October 6, 2016 by Gary Janit Leave a Comment

Good communication !

A real classic short humorous video that reminds us about the value of listening and good communication.

We very quickly go into problem solving mode but this short funny video reminds us about how much more valuable listening can be to others rather than problem solving.

Good communication skills can be learnt. The Imago Dialogue process is one of the best ways I know to really listen, validate and empathise with another person. See more about Imago Relationship Therapy at Relationship Counselling Manchester as well as Imago Relationships International .Continue Reading

Appreciations

Good communication !

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